REMARKS
Generational impact of PTSD and personal reflections
0:06:21
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3 min
Council Member Holden reflects on the long-lasting and generational impact of PTSD on veterans' families, drawing from his personal experiences.
- Holden expresses guilt over his past treatment of his father, having not understood the extent of his father's trauma
- He emphasizes the importance of understanding and addressing PTSD in veterans to prevent ongoing family struggles
- Holden connects his personal experiences to his current role as committee chair and his commitment to improving support for veterans
Robert F. Holden
0:06:21
We can look back, but it it if post traumatic stress disorder does affect family members.
0:06:27
I don't I am exhibit a because it was a horrible, horrible life living that daily stress and wasn't my dad's fault.
0:06:37
I thought I thought it was.
0:06:39
I thought it was, why is this why can't this guy function?
0:06:42
Why can't he be a father?
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Why doesn't he talk to me?
0:06:45
Like, leave it to Beaver's dad, which we all looked on a TV if you don't know what that show was, but it It was, you know, obviously, an early sitcom.
0:06:54
But we had we had role models on TV, but I didn't have that dad.
0:06:58
I didn't have a father that spoke to me.
0:07:00
I didn't have any of that.
0:07:02
But it affected every family member, including my mom, who suffered cerebral hemorrhage in her forties because of the stress.
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And we thought that we were gonna lose her.
0:07:16
To say that we can't do anything for the families or we don't know or that and nothing was done for those veterans, by the way, coming back from World War 2 and from Vietnam and from Korea.
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They it really very little was done.
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We didn't understand anything about post traumatic stress disorder.
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But it's passed down the generations by the way.
0:07:36
If you don't believe it, it's continuing.
0:07:40
Each family member suffers because of a dysfunctional person, but the government and I remember going down with my mom, we pleaded with the VA.
0:07:52
And I would tell the stories only when I got older and I could argue better.
0:07:56
Did we finally get he got a 100% to ability, but that was 2 years before he passed.
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So it really didn't help the family.
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We were left to fend for ourselves.
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And let me tell you.
0:08:11
I felt guilt when my dad died because my uncle pulled me aside and says, you know, Bob, you were very tough on your dad.
0:08:17
You didn't You don't understand what we went through.
0:08:20
You don't understand the horrors that we've seen, and he told me about the hand to hand combat.
0:08:26
Which I could never imagine.
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He told me about how many soldiers died in my dad's arms, like I mentioned before.
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He says, you don't recover from that if you're a human being.
0:08:37
Don't recover from that.
0:08:38
It's losing so many friends.
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Losing so many men.
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And you kinda blame yourself sometimes.
0:08:44
He said, we blamed ourselves because we couldn't get the necessary help to them in the battlefield.
0:08:50
So I can't imagine fighting in the war.
0:08:52
I could I I still can't and but I could just see what it did to my dad.
0:08:59
And the fact that my uncle said you never met your real dad, it hurt.
0:09:04
And and and I carry that with me, but being chair of this committee is at least at least something I could do for veterans to make up for that because I didn't understand.
0:09:20
And I feel there's not a day goes by that I don't feel guilty about how I spoke to my dad, how I treated him.
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I wanted him gone.
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I really did.
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I wanted him out of this house.
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I said I can't take this guy anymore.
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He would talk all night, keep us up all night.
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I have a study for school.
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He would pace the floors.
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He would bang things.
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He would this was a constant daily event.
0:09:42
So I understand what the families are going through, and probably many are suffering now as we speak, but We can try to address this.
